The Problem With Expectations

J was trying to convince the girls to go with him yesterday to WalMart so I could get a little peace and quiet.  (I have so enjoyed our long weekend with him with no real plans.  He's filled all his girls' love tanks plumb full.)  My girls don't thrill to the idea of going to WalMart, so he had his work cut out for him.

A was quite the negotiator.  She informed him that Mom could go get the bicycle tire he needed and he could stay home and play with them.  Normally, a win/win accomplishing the same goal of peace and quiet.  However, Mom did not want to go out in the heat or waddle around WalMart.  But that didn't stop her from trying.

She came to the door of the laundry room where I was shuffling baby clothes into the dryer and announced with confidence, "Dad needs a new bicycle tire from WalMart and I expect you to go get it."  See how that's the problem with expectations?  If you expect anything, you should equally expect to be disappointed.

She came home from her trip to WalMart with flowers and chocolates for Mom.  I didn't expect that!

Laundry Day

I turned the dryer on this morning only to have Jeremy ask, "Are you drying gravel?!"  No, that would be a load of baby clothes resplendent with snaps.  I did five loads of baby stuff today!!  And that doesn't include the four bags of pass-me-downs that didn't get washed.  I washed two loads of tiny clothes, then three loads of burp rags, washcloths, towels, blankets, sheets, etc.  I've only bought one outfit, but we are set.

I hoarded baby girl clothes for so many years, "just in case."  Having boy clothes rain down in spades has only confirmed for me that there is no need to hold on to things "just in case."  God will provide what we need, when we need it.  And in the meantime, I can funnel His provision on to someone else instead of carting it up and down the attic stairs (or asking my husband to).

End of an Era

Well, we finally did it.  Apparently, J traded one boat for another when he got rid of his sailboat and bought a minivan.  Yes, we took the plunge a couple of weeks ago (and signed on enough financing to feed a small African village for a month) and joined the minivan parade.

J was a hard-nosed negotiator and ended up getting us a great deal on a new Toyota Sienna.  I'm still getting used to driving it, especially parking.  He thought I'd get a ding and a speeding ticket within the first ten days, but I didn't.  The engine is bigger than my Accord, so it's really easy to be speeding without any effort.  Gotta keep my eye on that dial.

We still haven't figured out the in/out routine with the girls.  A wants to sit in the very back and she can buckle herself into her booster seat, so that works.  But it would be much more convenient for mommy to have her in the middle row as a helper.  How do all you minivan moms handle the dropped toys, cups, etc. when you can't reach the kids?  Is it just a learning process for the kids to not drop their stuff?

They both want to push the button to open/close the side doors.  This was a feature I really wanted, but it is really causing some strife.  Just another routine we need to work out so everyone gets a turn and no one gets smushed or stuck inside.

Most importantly, we're back onboard the frugal train.  The pay increase that J got a few months ago provided for a van payment.  But we'd been living a little high on the hog in the meantime and it's time to pull that budget back out and dust it off.

And poor J has to make one more sacrifice.  Not only does he have to choke down humble pie as he drives a vehicle he swore he would never drive, but he's also sold his little VW Golf.  It was showing its age, but I know he's missing it since it was like driving a grown-up go-kart.

Lots of changes around here to make that transition to a family of five.  What's next?

Total Mommy Cleanse

For the last 36 hours I have been holed up in a local hotel room all by myself.  I'll pause a moment to let the full magnitude of those last three words fully dawn upon you.  It has been blessedly silent.  The clack of my keys is the only noise I hear as I try to document this wonderful retreat in the minutes I have before check-out.

I asked for this weekend several months ago, knowing I would need a concentrated block of time to plan next year's school curriculum for A's kindergarten year.  So I ordered my books and lugged them along and have spent my time familiarizing myself with the schedule and books, filling in extras, planning field trips, and surfing forums for great ideas.  I feel like I'm in a good place to start this fall, considering I will have minimal capacity for further planning between now and then.

But I have also relished the independence of this weekend...eating my meals whenever and wherever I wanted, not sharing the food on my plate, and being able to read a book in silence while I ate.  Waking when my body was ready, bathing at my leisure, watching tv without consideration of its audience, popping in and out of my car for multiple errands within an hour.  All these things help to detox my mind, my attitude, my motivation and fortify me to return to the hardest job I'll ever love.  It's a total mommy cleanse and I didn't have to drink anything nasty.

Many, many thanks to J for making this time possible.  Thank you for investing in our children while I was away, for caring about their education and supporting me in homeschooling, and for loving me enough to know when I need a good cleanse.  I promise to only do it once a year.

A Moment of Silence

Ladies and gentlemen, could we please observe a moment of silence for the monumental sacrifice that my husband has made in relinquishing his firstborn sailboat.

Yes, he made it himself from raw materials.  Lots of sweat and tears went into that little beauty.  I think he started it in 2007ish.  I know A was around, but she was still too little to sail along.  (She was too little and the boat was too "experimental.")

When we cleaned out the garage last month, he admitted that it was time to let it go.  He hadn't touched it since we moved almost three years ago.  This stage of life is just not conducive to time-consuming hobbies.  I posted it on freecycle and we were thrilled to pass it on to a boy scout who was really excited to spruce it up, make it seaworthy and earn a few merit badges with it.

I say it was his firstborn sailboat because I know it won't be the last.  This man loves to sail and make things with his hands.  He hearts DIY sailboats.  One day, his son will be ready to wield a hammer and slop paint and they will make amazing things together.  I want that for him and can't wait to watch (with band-aids and wipes at the ready).

I Blame You

Alright, some more of you out there started praying for me; I can feel it.  And, THANK YOU!!

I didn't mean to cause any concern with yesterday's post, just wearing my feelings on my sleeve.  Thanks to those of you have sent me encouraging notes and made offers of help.  I really am blessed with so many friends and family who genuinely care about how I am doing.

We've had a great day today.  It probably didn't hurt that I spent a majority of the morning at the doctor's office sans kiddos for my glucose screening.  No results until tomorrow, but I'm not expecting anything out of the ordinary.  Heartbeat sounded strong and the doc was pleased with normal progress.  And she made a really sad, empathetic face when I whined about my symptoms.  That's always nice.

J stayed home with the girls and even played phonics bingo with A while I was gone.  Bonus!  Schoolwork done while I was away!

Then there was this little jewel of a bubble-blowing episode.  I don't usually let them blow bubbles with their straws because it causes a huge mess and really, who likes being splashed from someone else's cup while trying to eat?  But, they weren't at the table...

They reveled in the freedom for almost twenty minutes.  I thought one of them would hyperventilate and pass out.  You can't see it very well in the video, but A's face was red from exertion.  C obviously got bored with bubbles and started just dumping her water on the floor, but I'm cool with that because she also likes to wipe it up.  Good clean fun!  (I stopped the video right before A announced that she almost got snot in her cup.  Yum.)

We even broke out the paint and glue and did a little art this afternoon.  And we all enjoyed each other.  That feels really good.  And I blame you, friends.  Thank you.

Shoe Trend

This is the latest trend in footwear at our house.  Be sure to note that daughter shoes only come in various shades of pink.

Have I mentioned lately what an awesome man I married?

All Clear

I think we are safely out of the stomach bug war zone.  We sheltered in place all day Saturday and Sunday, hoping that we would contain any fallout if the rest of us were going to get sick.  So far, so good.  And praise God for that because we were getting a smidge stir crazy.

I failed to mention in my previous post how thankful I am for the heroic captain God has posted at the head of our family.  J was so awesome that night.  He came home immediately when I texted him with the crisis.  As soon as he got home, he checked on our little sickie then came to scrub the carpet with me.  He was up bringing fresh supplies every time I got up with A for the rest of the night, always compassionate and gentle.  He did all the grunt work the next day to get that bunk bed really clean, not to mention the disgusting nightmare it took to get the tub clean.  He really was our hero!

I failed to blog in a timely manner that we just celebrated our 13th anniversary at the end of December.  I'm so, so, so grateful to serve in the trenches of parenthood by your side, J.  You make it all bearable, even joyful.  I cannot fathom doing life with anyone else.  God knit us together in His perfect plan and I pray He continues to conform us more to His image every year we are together.  Love you more than much.

Not What I Had Envisioned

This time yesterday, when I was thinking through my weekend, I could not have envisioned what I've been doing.  I turned my light off last night about 10:30 pm.  J came in at 11:30 pm to tell me he was headed up to a local coffee shop to play dominoes.  Count with me...one hour of sleep.  I woke up at 12:30 am to the sound of A crying and coughing in her bed.  She runs to my room to tell me she's throwing up.  Oh, joy.  So concludes hour two of sleep.

Bless her little heart, she was so proud of herself that she only threw up on the ladder of her bunk bed.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we had sickness from a height.  That equals distance.  And contrary to her understanding, ladders do not in and of themselves contain liquids.  However, toy baby cribs situated below the ladder full of Littlest Pet Shop pets do.

It was 2am when J and I finally crawled into bed after cleaning it all up.  About 15 minutes later, she started again.  Fortunately, she was on the floor in our room in a sleeping bag and we were well-armed.  So, we rinsed and repeated for a few hours.  I was wide awake by this point and didn't drift off to sleep until sometime after 5am.  C decided to scare the living daylights out of me by waking up crying and coughing at 6am.  I ran to her room expecting the worse, but she was just ready to get out of bed.  I told her she had to stay in bed until the sun came up, sang her a song and tried to catch a few more winks.  We'll be generous and add another hour to the sleep count.

C really was done sleeping at 7am, so we got up and watched Mary Poppins.  A woke up around 8am and we started the movie over again.  Never enough Poppins.  After the movie, I thought it was a good idea for A to have a bath.  Into the tub they went.  Meanwhile, J was disassembling the top bunk so I could get at the final crevices.  We got that done and I turned to wiping down all the hard surfaces in her bedroom.  I was wiping down a drawer handle when I heard, "There's poo poo in the tub!"  I totally ignored that announcement.  J just froze.  I thought surely if I ignored it, it would cease to be true.  Not so.  I guess C was feeling left out of all the laundry and disinfecting.  Two girls out of the tub, one husband standing in dismay looking at said contaminated tub.  We both look at each other and bust out laughing till we're crying.  (As I'm typing this, he said, "You know it's been a long night when you laugh at the word 'contaminated.'")

I ushered the girls to my shower, praying that C didn't pee along her naked way.  I got to the bathroom behind them and she's standing over a puddle.  Seriously?!  I asked her if she peed on the floor and she said, "No!" like that was the most incredulous thing I could ask.  I realized she was holding a dripping rag from the bathtub and chose to believe she had wrung it out.  While we were waiting for the water to get warm, she squeezed the rag again and says, "I pee-peed again."  Oh, isn't that so funny?!  No wait, there's more...

I wash C's hair and get a big glob of shampoo in my palm to start on A when C starts making moves like she's got business to do.  I whisked her out of the shower and onto the potty and tried to convince her to finish there.  Nothing doing.  I go back to the shower only to discover that A has commandeered the hand-held shower and is creating a lake on the bathroom floor.  Will the mopping up never end?!!!

We are attempting lunch now.  Here's hoping the second half of the day stays drier than the first.

Sense of Style

I can't handle heels, but C's got it down.  Leopard print, no less.  Maybe it's the low-slung diaper with no pants that improves her balance.

And if I can't do leopard print shoes, I'm certainly not bold enough to try a wild animal print skirt.  But I think she looks like a million bucks.

I've been a headband girl for years now, but the bright, sparkly ones seem a little young for me.

She's got quite the sense of style, no thanks to me.  Maybe she gets it from her dad.

Still Here

Never fear, we're still here. I've been absent from blogging for a few weeks, through no particular effort of my own. I guess that's the problem...no effort = no blog posts. I knew it had been awhile since I wrote a post when my neighbor called to check and make sure we were okay. Have I mentioned we have great neighbors? She said her granddaughter follows the blog and hadn't seen a post in a couple of weeks and now that we can park the car in the garage, it's hard to tell when we're coming or going. So she called to make sure all was well. (Thanks for looking out for us, O family.)

I remember when we first moved here and J was traveling so much, I was so lonely. I told him once that every time I came in the door I hoped someone had left a message or sent an email, someone to notice that I was here or not here, to see that I existed and mattered. I'm so very grateful to be growing relationships with my neighbors and friends, and to know that they are looking out for us and thinking about us.

Last weekend, my incredible hubby watched the girls for two nights (!!!!) while I stole away with my mom, sister, and sister-in-law for a girls' weekend away. We had a great time; saw a movie, did some window shopping, ate yummy food, did lots of talking. Pictures were taken, but they won't be posted here.

While I was gone, J was Super-Fun Daddy. He took the girls to the splashpad, over to friends' for supper, even threw a birthday party for A's teddy bear including homemade cupcakes, homemade pizza and at least two dozen balloons. And he had most of it cleaned up by the time I got home. Did I mention he's amazing?!

The weekend before last, we were out of town for my niece's birthday party. Lots of fun with family. I'm so grateful that my girls have little cousins their age to grow up with.

Somewhere in there, J started playing softball with a team from our church. He's also trying to wrap up a few final client projects at work so that he can move forward with the idea that has been funded.

See? We're still here, doing our usual thing. Not much new, just hotter. I'll try to pick up the pace a bit on posts, though, so as not to cause any further alarm. Perhaps I'll work on another right now.

My Day

Well, I should probably back up and share the weekend. Okay, so really it's best to start late last week. Yeah, that should be good. Remember the whole quiet-time thing? Not working. I would much rather have a battle at bedtime because--let's be honest--Daddy deals with those while I'm writing blog posts. We started that on Wednesday of last week and by Friday, I declared (in a very unloving voice) that she would most certainly be taking a nap tomorrow or we would both be unfit for polite society. Or something along those lines. No need to recall the exact verbiage.

I'm sure the lack of success had nothing to do with C's untimely case of croup. She woke up with a fever on Thursday morning and by Friday afternoon, we were in the doctor's office confirming the diagnosis. It also rained Friday afternoon; lots of it...about the time we were leaving the doctor's office. Not such a fun day for me. But then came bunko.

Can I just tell you how amazing it is to play bunko with a lady who was in the catering business for over 20 years?! The carbs, y'all, my goodness, the carbs!! She made some kind of cream cheese dip that made me drool. And homemade strawberry shortcake and key lime pie. That kind of calorie-load will erase a multitude of sins. Or at least cause you to shift your focus to a different variety of sins.

Saturday is kind of a blur because C was so puny. Oh, yes, the parental units were quite stir crazy (it was still raining), so we played Big Lots Lotto. Before we left the house, we each rolled three dice (A only got two, and C got none since she's not quite old enough to know she's being left out) and we could each spend the sum total of the dice at Big Lots. J was so sad that he had $12 to spend and could only find a box of Pop Rocks that he was interested in. A loaded up on princess goods...markers, notepads, stickers. When we got home, J was very disappointed that his pop rocks were not more entertaining than he had hoped. Don't get me wrong, he thoroughly enjoyed emptying the little packets into his mouth and then putting his open mouth near our ears so we could hear the candy sensation. I think he just thought the 3-year-old would get a bigger kick out of it. Hmm. She eventually warmed to the idea, but only after her own candy was gone.

Then Sunday, I had the honor and privilege of serving in our church nursery not one, not two, but three hours. With the 2-year-olds. We rely heavily on student help in the nursery and this was graduation weekend, which translates to lack-o-help in the nursery. I really didn't mind pitching in, but three hours with eight 2-year-olds is memorable to say the least. "No throwing. No climbing. No hitting. No screaming. No mouth." Someone should make a soundtrack.

J got to stay home with C. Which is why he learned about a spontaneous concert by one of his favorite artists happening that afternoon. He took A with him to a local church to hear Andy Gullahorn and Ross King. C and I hung out at home and rotated toys so the girls would have a fresh selection to start the week.

Monday morning, C was definitely feeling better. She hadn't run fever since Saturday. We made a quick run to HEB in the morning and then broke out the wading pool that afternoon. Note to self - do not leave the pool in the backyard all winter; very nasty scrubbing to be done come summer. C did not enjoy the pool as much as her sister, but it may have been due to the uncontrollable splashing and squealing on the part of her sister. She also did not enjoy the strawberry popsicle I offered her for snack. I tried to hand it to her and she took off in a lap around our patio, saying "no, no, no, no, no, no." After about five laps, I threw the popsicle in the sink and gave her plain ice. She enjoyed that much more.

Today is Tuesday and we took the day off from our usual visit to a friend's house to make sure C is out of the croup woods. We went to the park for a couple of hours this morning; fed some very assertive ducks. I had a very productive nap time, did a reading lesson with A, and thought I would get just one more thing done on my to-do list before starting supper. Had to call the credit card company to look into a rewards reimbursement. I refuse to go into the gory details because I don't think my blood pressure can handle the spike again today. But because I'm still outraged, here's the highlights: one hour and ten minutes, six people (one who didn't speak English and another who was very rude), finally find a solution to the problem, but "oh, sorry, we can't authorize the request because you aren't the primary card holder. Please have your husband call back and make the request." I had to send the girls outside because I didn't want to hear A's lecture later on "Stay calm. Ask for help nicely. Stay calm. Wait nicely for help. Stay calm."

When J got home and saw my beet-red face and frazzled hair, he agreed that supper out might be a good idea. Then we ran into Half-Price Books to pick up a new chapter book for A. I love the idea of being able to shop at a bookstore with my kids. C was even chanting, "book, book, book" as we walked the aisles. Except you have to imagine that with a heavy German accent, because it comes out more like, "boochk." I was putting her in bed and gave her a kiss, which she sweetly returned. She's gotten really sweet about kisses and readily planted one on my cheek, then sought out my other cheek and gave me another one in true French bisous style. Makes the bad credit card man melt away.

So that was my day. Well, my weekend. I guess since tomorrow is Wednesday, then we've come full circle and that was my week. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

Praise & Thanksgiving

We have great cause to celebrate at our house this week. God has answered our prayers about a significant milestone for J's work. I waited to blog about it because I didn't want to somehow jeopardize the negotiations. That either makes me really conceited, to think that my little blog reaches so far, or really paranoid, to think that the internet is that small. I tend toward the latter.

The back story is that J and his business partner have an incredible idea for a new iPhone app that has garnered the interest of an angel investor. They've spent many, many hours developing the business plan with help from a local small business incubator who was also smitten with the idea. The investor handed over a "deposit" during their first meeting. But then we hit a snag with some legal issues in a previous customer's contract. Long story short, we needed a signature in order to proceed and it was possible that the signature would be very expensive and time-consuming to secure.

After three weeks of praying for a quick, favorable answer, J got the needed signature yesterday afternoon--the same day he made the request. It did have a cost, but only a drop in the potential bucket. As a bonus, this previous customer that J was negotiating with asked to be the first customer when the new app is rolled out. Above and beyond what we could ask or imagine.

We've been praying for a long time that God would provide income in such a way that J would be able to concentrate on school full-time. We can't say for sure that this new idea will do that, but it is very promising. Having the investor's check in hand and the legal roadblocks out of the way gives us hope that God has flung this door wide open for us to run through. J had already pulled out of school for this semester and knew he would probably take off next fall as well. We'll pray now that this is enough time to get the new product up and rolling, generating revenue without much continual intervention.

So praise God with us!! This is a huge answer to prayer! We look forward to seeing how God will work it all together to make us more like Him and bring glory to Himself. Stay tuned.

Daddy got schooled!

Bedtime exchange between J and A:

J: I love you all the way to the moon and back.

A: Well, I love you all the way to Thailand and back.

J: The moon is further than Thailand.

A: No it's not, Dad. I can go outside and see the moon, but I can't see Thailand. The moon's just right there.

J: You're a very smart little girl.

A: You're not a very smart daddy if you think Thailand's closer than the moon. I'm just kidding. You're a smart daddy,...but you're just wrong.

Love & War

J and I are pretty good about consulting each other before committing to any thing, but he snuck one in on me last month. He's on a newsletter list for a publisher and receives invitations every now and then to write reviews for books on his blog. We're fans of John Eldrege, so when his new book came up among the invitations, J signed both of us up for it. It arrived about 3 weeks ago, and the instructions asked us to read the book and post our review during the week before Valentine's. Sure, I can read a 200+ page book in my copious amounts of free time during the next 3 weeks.

If I wasn't already an enthusiastic fan, I would have "forgotten." But we finally read Wild at Heart last fall and both found it to be an insightful look into men's hearts. Then my sister encouraged me to get a copy of the companion book, Captivating, co-authored by Eldrege and his wife, Stasi. I'm only a few chapters into that one, but it seems to be a welcome, refreshing look at God's heart for women. So I was pretty excited to see that the Eldreges have put together a book on marriage, Love & War. Their writing style is so natural, conversational, easy to read. I really do wish I had a few days uninterrupted to pore over the book, mark it up with my notes and process the light-bulb moments.

I'm about half-way through the book now, and have this week to finish it. I've already found such great nuggets of wisdom and theology, though, that I wanted to start sharing them. So I'm going to post a quote from the book every day this week as a teaser. Starting with this one:

"Your mariage is part of a larger story, too, a story as romantic as any that has ever stirred your heart, and at least as dangerous. The sooner you come to terms with this, the sooner you can understand what is happening in your marriage.

We cheer on the hero and the heroine because we can see what is at stake--the kingdom hangs upon their success. Yet we haven't anything close to this sort of clarity in our own marriages; we would be hard-pressed to name one thing that hangs in the balance, apart from our sanity and Grandmother's silver....

God is a great lover, and he created marriage to play out on this earth a daily, living, breathing portrait of the intimacy he longs for with his people. Gulp. This is why it has such a central role. It is a kind of incarnation, a passion play about the love and union between Jesus and his beloved.

Which might help you appreciate why the fury of hell has been unleashed against it. God is telling a love story and the setting is war."

Gives me goosebumps every time I think that God would choose me to be part of something larger. Stay tuned for more great pearls from Love & War.

Sort of, kind of an outdoorsy moment

A has seen several shows recently about camping out, including one with marshmallows roasted over a fire. She's been clamoring to camp out in the backyard so she could participate in said marshmallows. J pitched his tent in the backyard before it got too cold and they played card games until the mosquitos started dealing themselves in. But she wasn't really keen on the idea of sleeping out there. I wasn't either; never been one for sleeping out of doors. I have a lovely Stearns & Foster king-size pillow top that welcomes me to slumber each night. Why would I forsake that kind of hospitality?

At any rate, we certainly wouldn't be making a fire in our backyard. So, we did the next best thing:

I'm happy to report that indoor s'mores are quite yummy. C agrees; she nearly took off my finger tip trying to clean off the sticky marshmallow.

Huge compromise for my manly man. Perhaps one day God will answer his prayers and I'll wake up believing that days on end without proper plumbing is actually relaxing. The title of that post shall read, "The prayers of a righteous man availeth much."